We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
