I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
