I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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