R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
