I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Enjoy the penises
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
