hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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