Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
