I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
