We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
