If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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