I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
