"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
