this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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