I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
