the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
