I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
