let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
