P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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