my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I yelled at your uterus for you.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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