Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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