I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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