More tranny stories later!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
