:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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