Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
