she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
