she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
