I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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