Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
