we have pet lesbian snakes
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
