My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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