ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
