it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
