that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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