This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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