Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
