Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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