I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
