I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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