i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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