tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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