Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
