Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
