You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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