We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
me + whiskey = a bad person
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
