I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she told me i tasted like america
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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