The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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