I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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