a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize