Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You work out of a Hotel?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize