Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
