i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
